Of Takdir and Hope #1

By Saturday, August 1, 2015 2 No tags Permalink 12

Takdir. A strong word to describe my past 2-months experience with fate. In my previous post, I have shared how my daughter’s birth via emergency C-Sect have saved me from going through a much bitter future , reality steps in right after I was done with my birth confinement. The first Doctor who had my previous tumour histopathology report have been trying to get me to see him for about a month, but I totally ignored it as I wanted to first recover from my confinement and focused on my newborn daughter. I was surprised he was so keen on getting me to see him, and only during the appointment did we found out why.

While the tumour found was benign, it had these muccin (mucus) which were highly dangerous, I grew pale just hearing that. If left untreated (say, I did not remove my appendix with the tumour), it could have evidently developed into a rare disease called Psedomyxoma Peritonea, which affects only 1-2 people out of a million per year. More information regarding this rare disease could be found at www.pseudomyxomasurvivor.org.

After my appointment with the Doctor, we went home in total shock and despair. The whole family was sadden by the news that I could have (or had) cancer. After a day or two of drowning in tears, I decided to contact a friend of my husband, who is a colon cancer survivor as well as a blogger. She, Choo Mei Sze, told me that I should get a second opinion with her Doctor, of which I am glad I did so. My second opinion is from Datuk Dr. Yunus at Prince Court Medical Centre, and he later, became my Surgeon and Specialist. He was more positive about my case, and told me to do a CT Scan before deciding on anything.

“Think Positive!” Were his constant advice to me (this later helped me a lot).

The CT Scan, however, did not come about as I anticipated. There is (was) some sort of growth near the area where my appendix was removed, and because I am at risk for the disease, he could not rule out the possibility and this got me worried. We scheduled for the surgery to be done the very same week…there was no way out for me. Hence, on the 10th of July, 2015… I am left to faced the coldness of the operation theatre again.

The Day of the Surgery

Screenshot 2015-07-30 16.27.05


It was the last week of Ramadan, as early as 7 AM, me and my husband left our baby behind and went to the hospital. I was totally numb from any emotions. I went to “surrender” myself to a week at the hospital and of pain. “Here we go again, Bismillah..” was all I could mutter to myself. I istighfar as much as I could on the way to the hospital and through out the morning before the surgery. I was scheduled to be pushed in at 2pm after the Friday prayers. The Doctor came in early to check on me and gave us the probability of the surgery’s outcome.

“There is an 80-90% chance that your right colon will need to come out..” I grew pale hearing this, and so after a couple of days being numb and emotionless, I started crying again…I was truly scared…

I managed to pray Zuhr and recite the Yaasin again for one last time before I lay down on the transferring bed to the operation room with my husband by my side all the way to the door. I stared at the ceiling with such empty eyes, saying the shahadah many times. The thing about my surgery us that it could be as light as a laparoscopy which will only take 1-2 hours or a serious open surgery which could be up to 4-5 hours. I signed the contract allowing the surgery to be done and had some light conversations with the anaesthetics Doctor. The surgery team was quite “welcoming” and fun to talk to that I forgot I was going to be cut open any minute!

The general anaesthesia was pretty quick to happen, talked to the nurse and the anaesthetics Doctor about my daughter and my Architecture degree while cracking up a couple of jokes…and suddenly..I felt dizzy, I asked the nurse..” Kenapa rasa pening tiba-tiba?” and she was like..”Haa, sebab Doctor that masukkan ubat tu… I went like “ohh okay..” remembered Allah SWT one last time..looked at the lights of the operation theatre (it felt quite comfy because of the heated blanked they wrapped you in) and that was the last thing I saw before going blank.


  • Zurailah
    August 6, 2015

    Salam Ika.I’m yr mom’s blog reader.Aunty a yr older than yr mom but i like to read yr blog too coz i like how u see life in yr own perspective.It’s somesort of a guide for me to understand my children who are almost your & your siblings’ age more.Kuatkan semangat & hope u’ll continue to inspire others

    • Nur Zalikha
      August 24, 2015

      Salam auntie, thank you for reading my humble blog. I’m glad that some of my posts holds some sort of benefit for you, I hope to be more active as time passes by. Thank you for your wish..aamin 🙂

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