My Baby Saved Me.

I was so drowsy that while the nurses were pushing me into the room, I felt like I was floating. The epidural will only wear off a few hours later. My family members were already waiting in the room, and everything went well..the baby came and I had my first breast-feeding experience.

It was only later at night that my Surgeons came by to check-up on me. I remained calm, but my Mom, aunt and sister was there (everyone else went back including my husband) so they’re going to hear what the Doctor has to say. My husband still did not know that I had my Appendix removed. The Doctor showed me a photo of my appendix after checking my abdomen. In a calm manner he revealed why they had to remove it.

“We are sending your appendix for testing, it seems that there is an abnormal growth growing around it.”

My mom’s face changed. Say that again? “abnormal growth, could be benign or cancerous…”, I looked down. I really wished my mom wasn’t there to hear this part. Their faces started to change…the joy that was happily lighting the room turned into despair. My mom and my aunt started to wear the worry look. They asked for an immediate explaination of what my condition was.

“Allah SWT masih sayangkan kamu, it would have been unfair to you if we did not removed it immediately…” The Doctor kept mentioning that.

God loved me.

Allah SWT really did love me. This was the Hikmah. My mom started crying (and she could not sleep that night), she was in so much disbelief.  If it wasn’t for my mom’s assurance to just go ahead with the surgery, the growth would have still been inside of me. It could have just grown and becomes a huge problem.

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Fast forward to our first check-up, we received the test results from the Specialist Surgeon.

“I have some very good news for you…”

I cringed at the edge of my chair, is it benign or was it really cancerous?

“The growth around your appendix was pre-cancerous…but it was removed.”

What I had was a Low-Grade Dysplasia (READ), it could have progressed into a High-grade and becomes cancerous (although it was a very rare case according to the Doctors). The Surgeon had only seen two other patients with the same case like mine but theirs had progressed into worse conditions. Mine was spotted at a very early and new stage, and was immediately removed (Low-grade Dysplasia is treated with direct removal). Also in my case, there were no invasions of neoplastic cells (cancerous cells).

“Tuhan masih sayangkan kamu..” The Doctor said repeatedly… yes, it must have been a miracle to them as well. How often do you hear cases as such? By chance if I decided to go ahead and continued to be induced to give normal birth, what would have happened to me in 10 years time? After the meeting with the Doctor, I immediately went to hug my mom who followed us to the Hospital, as soon as I exited the Doctors’ room. I was in tears… I was so scared, my mom was so surprised that I was suddenly cried that she just cried too. She then after went on rambling how she should go first ect, while I just looked at my daughter sleeping quietly in the stroller.

She’s a miracle baby.

My miracle.

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Do you know how much it pains you to see your parents heartbroken with such news? I did not have cancer (yet) but the thought of “could have had it” scares me. I cried the whole week quietly, I now have a baby and husband to take care of, what would they do if I wasn’t around long enough? What if the test results showed that I had cancer and I had to get treatment immediately while still having a newborn under my wing? How will my husband handle the pressure?

Ever since the case, my mom had been making me anti-cancer meals (whatever she believes could kill cancer cells) and read Surah Yaasin to glasses of air zam zam for me to drink. Doctors suggest that I get my follow-ups with a specialist to help with whatever that could be done because to them, nothing could be done even if I take care of what I eat…Cancer is like that, it is evil and it usually kills all positive hope there is. My dad keeps asking me if I am okay and wants me to get a full check-up. I had to put on a smiling face and say “Yes I am Okay”.

My Husband? He just helps me get through my depression with his hugs. He is too cool to show his emotions.

So here I am, waiting for my confinement to be done with in 2 weeks time so that I could go for my check-ups and consultations. I was one of those people who was destined to go through this… I don’t even have cancer yet, but it was already emotionally painful and overwhelming.

“I could have had Cancer…”

“I could have had….”

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Dear ladies (and gentlemen), I’ve always had this premonition or instinct telling me that something is wrong inside of me, but I was too scared to find out, but yet by chance, that eerie feeling was true, I  did have some sort of growth inside of me and it could have progressed into the Carcinoma stage. I now have had that removed although I am still at risk of having cancer perhaps in 10 years time when I am older.

Get your check-ups done. I am a healthy and active person, with a good diet regime. I would run atleast 6KM’s a week as a work-out, yet I had that Stage 0/pre-cancer conditions. Whatever your fear is now, it could become worse if you do not find out now!

Pray to Allah SWT and hope for the best, death is imminent. Some people probably would have already seen it coming, while most of us don’t. Ever since this incident, I have totally changed my mind-set, Ya Allah, there is nothing materialistic around me I could bring with me into the grave except for my prayers and Du’a. I will leave everything behind including my loved ones! God gave me a sign… a chance to prepare myself, so here I am, patiently trying my best to live this short life and be prepared for the pains and challenges to come.

Naurah Imaan Bt Ariff Shah, may you become the solehah daughter we pray for you to be. Amin.

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