This post have been put on hold for the LONGEST time. We have been so busy ever since we got back from Morocco, trying to stabilize company’s performance and sales, that I pushed aside all my hobbies of blogging and making home videos for a better financial profile. But now seems like a good time, in the middle of Ramadhan, where self-reflection seems like a favourable deed, especially at 3.59AM and I have prepared sahur early.
Recently, I often accidentally got into these Instagram accounts of youngsters in their early 20’s, with their amazing achievements of portraying their “glamour” life to the public, with such a huge following. Sometimes, I stumble upon accounts of entrepreneurs, blessed with their looks and already making millions every year, barely 25. Then, there is my batch, with our quiet life, and Instagram made it’s way to our life a little bit later, and I thought, wow, our golden years of 20’s is finally coming to an end. It was these younger faces, who’s popularity I have never heard of, it is their turn to shine and take over the scene. All this made me think:
How did my 20’s go?
Leaving the bandwagon of the 20’s by next year, I will turn 29 sometime late this year (which makes me 28, still :P), I took the time to reflect and see what went wrong, and what went right. Asked myself questions like, “Did I waste it all away?” and “What have I achieved?”.
Honestly, I have always been someone who struggled with psychological and personality “disorder” since high-school, but while I was a pretty good student during school days and I was more reserved and focus on getting those A’s, I was not the same in college and in early University days. I tried SO HARD to fit in, to make friends, to be accepted, to be different, and all these personal struggles seems pretty childish to me now. I know for sure that, half of the people I got to know back then, still feels uncomfortable/hates me from my sort of “desperate” attempts trying to “LIVE” my early 20’s, but in the end, I just could not. I was just another loser, with no money, and I continued to do what I do best, which is, to FOCUS on graduating my first degree, which I did, and it was pretty good.
However, not all is wasted. I did gain a few new faces in my life, and me being emotionally “blocked” somehow, have the immature capability of not being able to appreciate some of these people. On the sidelines, I did a few part-time jobs which lead me to where I am now as a Creative Director. Interning for my seniors at Rupajiwa was probably one of the BEST decisions of my life, although my parents were seriously against me and my hobby of photography. I really wanted to go to Photography school after Part 1, but couldn’t because my dad really wanted me to become an Architect, of which, was not a bad a decision at all as I was offered into 3 amazing schools, and actually managed to graduate from one of them.
From my days as a photographer with Rupajiwa, best ever decision of my early 20’s, albeit I am not that good, but it took me away from doing other unbebenficial things and gain new creative skills. My portfolio still survives on TUMBLR and other pages.
Graduation, best decison after that is breaking-up with the ex the following momth, and immediately met my husband. We got married a year later. The girls in this photo are now amazing wifes, mothers and professionals in what that do (not referring to myself). And oh, that’s me with my lovely Opah who’s birthday is tomorrow, alhamdulillah.
Made it to Bangladesh, I think we were like the first few Malaysians to actually travel to Bangladesh! The guy in the second photo is a famous photographer working with famous brands now, I am too afraid to even ask his rates now, haha. My time in UIA was not too bad, but could have been better if I was abit more mature.
Moving on, so after that whole early 20’s phase, at 24, I met my husband, and straighten up myself, because he was not into the “impressing people” bullshit (sorry, using this word too much) and I had to choose between 3 Architecture schools. I was offered to further my Part 2 Architecture education to either Melbourne University in Australia, Oxford Brookes University in UK and Universiti Malaya in KL. So, obviously as you know, I chosed UM, but not for the reasons you may think, that I wanted to be near to my husband, but my dad asked me to become a Part-3 Architect and start my own firm after graduating, of which, I don’t think I am capable of or am interested in. So, I chose UM in th end, and was the second best decision (third actually, the second was being friends with my husband) I did, at 24 years old. This was my second time turning down an offer to further my education abroad, the first time was after my SPM straight A’s result, I was offered Japan to do some “International Relations” course, of which was not something that interests me.
And then there was FLAPPER WINGS, a clothing project I started with my sister. It was not a total fail, and we gain a lot of experience from it, heck, we even made it into FashionValet as one of the first 80 brands to be part of it (Vivy still handled all her consignees back then personally, okay! hehe). What we lack back then was the capital to expand the business, and the idea of a mass production clothing line was still quite new and it was quite hard to find a “tukang jahit” that could take up such jobs. Another factor was time, it was not the right time for me to work on the business, as I was too busy with starting and adapting to my new environment at Universiti Malaya, and so, I had to put the project to rest.
This is just a snippet of my early 20’s, what I am proud and happy of, but honestly there were many times I was an idiot that made a lot of mistakes and very bad decisions that I still regret to this very day. But LIFE, seems to take an unexpected turn for me afterwards, and this post, is only Part 1 of my 20’s reflections. More to be shared, in the next part!
P.S: Husband dah bangun untuk sahur, so I have to stop blogging for now. Sambung later…0